Green Skies, Blue Pastures.

[Alvin Park]

This night hadn’t gone exactly the way Al had planned on it going. He’d been in his head for weeks now…ever since it had become clear that something had happened between himself and Kit while he was drunk. But tonight, that saga had developed further.

He had walked his friend home. And on that walk…she had let him know she was expecting. And it was his.

Alvin was very much still processing.

So as he approached Willie and Erin’s home again, full year planning on helping clean up since most everyone had left at this point…he couldn’t help but pause on the porch. His hand was shaking as it was frozen there, mid reach to the door.

He was going to be a father.

Was this fear the same one Erin and Evan had felt when they found out? No, maybe not. At least they each had recollection of the events that lead to their children. Alvin felt for Kit, really. And he had every intention of being there for her and the baby.

But he was scared. So he turned, moving to sit on the stairs instead and letting the cool wind calm him burning face. When he heard the door open behind him, he didn’t bother to move.

It was likely one of his brothers coming to check on him.

[Ben Park]

Ben and Veronica had been trying to have a baby Park of their own for a few months now, and unfortunately before they'd come to the party, they'd received yet another big negative. He could tell his wife wasn't feeling herself even though she acted like nothing was wrong, and he didn't know how to make her feel better. He could say what he wanted, but if she believed it or not was up to him...and honestly Ben was starting to not believe anything he said, either. It got to the point where he mentioned that maybe they should see if something was going on that was preventing it from happening - she hadn't said anything at the time, and the decision was always up to her. But...needless to say with that background information, it was a little difficult for Ben to be happy for all the babies around. They were very lucky to have Hana and Duri after the scare that Willie experienced, and honestly Evan and Lexa was bound to happen at some point with how often they got down to it.

But it just didn't seem to be happening for the one married couple in the family, and that kind of sucked.

Ben was trying to focus on everyone else - well, Veronica first, but everyone else before what was going on in his own head. So when Evan approached him and pointed out the strange way that Alvin was acting, Ben, being his "twin", narrowed in on that. Still being sociable and enjoying dinner and gift opening, but observing his brother, who seemed uncharacteristically uninterested in Ava Blackthorn. That was new. He wasn't sure if it had anything to do with the newly married Alice and Cody, or the fact that his other best friend was there with Willie's cousin...but Evan had a hunch. And pair that with the fact that he'd texted Roni to ask if Kit could borrow some clothes from their parents' house...........

Speaking of Al and Kit, they both disappeared about the same time, and after a bit, a crack sounded outside. Ben gave a kiss to his wife's cheek before poking his head out the door, finding the fluffy hair of his hyung sitting down on the stairs of Willie's front porch. He closed the door behind him and sat down next to Al on the steps, resting his elbows on his knees and choosing not to look at him. It kind of clicked what had happened, but...why he was acting so sad was a completely different story. Ben just wanted him to know he wasn't alone. He always had someone to talk to. "Happy Christmas, Al," he said, softly. "Or is it happy?"

[Alvin Park]

Ben joined him and Alvin was grateful. He loved all of his brothers. But he had always had a special bond with Ben. So as his younger “twin” sat next to him…the two indulged in a brief moment of silence. But then Ben broke the silence and damn, Al should have known the man would realize something was up.

Or is it happy?

Al sighed, looking down at his hands.

”It depends on how you look at it I suppose,” he offered weakly. He felt tears stinging his eyes. Tears he had hidden while talking with Kit because she needed him to keep it together. ”I…I think I just ruined my best friend’s life.”

His words were barely a whisper and a few tears rolled their way down his face. Sure, Erin and Evan hadn’t planned their children either…but they were actually with the mothers of their children. How could Alvin provide a stable home and relationship with his kid if he was hopelessly devoted to another woman instead of the mother of his child? Of course he loved Kit…but not in the way she wanted him to. Or at least he didn’t realize he did.

”I…after Alice’s wedding…I was so drunk…we…and now she…”

He couldn’t get the words right. He felt like such an ass.

”What do I do?”

[Ben Park]

Ben, like most of the Parks, was wildly observant. So obviously he knew something was up. Paired with some deductive reasoning and he was pretty sure he knew why. Kit. And not just Kit in general, but because it was Kit and it wasn't Ava. Ben didn't know why his brother wasted his time fawning over the dark haired witch, but to each their own, he supposed. Al didn't look at him when he spoke, but Ben kept his gaze fixed on his brother. He was curious what Alvin was willing to tell him...if anything at all. Ben didn't know the part about Alvin not remembering a thing - so a part of him was curious as to why he was so sad about it. If he wasn't getting anything from Ava, why not try something different? But, no matter what Ben thought, he was always going to be supportive of his brother's decision. He knew what was best for him.

"I...after Alice's wedding...I was so drunk...and now she..."

That, paired with what he'd said earlier, something about ruining his best friend's life...sunk in Ben's mind very easily. He swallowed. Another oopsie, he figured, but didn't call his brother out on it. He seemed to be quite surprised, shocked even at the notion, and a lump started to form in Ben's own throat both for his brother and for his own wife.

"What do I do?"

"Kit?" he asked, even though he already knew. "She's..." Ben paused, looking at his own hands, focusing on not letting his voice crack. "What's wrong with it? Other than it being her and not, y'know..." he said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He was having a little bit of a hard time focusing on the situation at hand, when all three of his elder brothers managed to get girls pregnant so easy, and he and his wife wanted nothing more than to expand their own little family and it just...wasn't happening for them. Things had always come so easy to Ben and it was hard to wrap his head around having to work so hard for something he really wanted. And it was hard seeing Roni go through it every month.

But, he also could see the side of the coin that wasn't his - the girl finding out she's got a plus instead of a negative, wondering like hell if he's going to stick around or he was going to run. Ben never thought any of his brothers would run from a situation like that, but he wouldn't have been surprised if Willie or Lexa, or most definitely Kit, who wasn't in a relationship with Alvin, would feel that way. "Is she going to keep it?" he asked first, and given that Al likely said yes, Ben would nod, his gaze fixed on his own hands. "Well, if it were me I'd make sure she knew she was cared for whether you were with her or not. She seems like she knows? That you're not...in love with her, yeah? And you can always think that at least it was you and not someone like Tommy Darling," he let out a soft chuckle, trying to make his brother at least somewhat crack a smile, unaware that Kit probably told Alvin of what already happened in their fifth year, and unaware that Kit and Tommy had links whatsoever.

[Alvin Park]

There was a spot of silence and Alvin grit his teeth hard to try to keep himself from crying. He was terrified. He was sad for what he had done to Kit. He was heartbroken about what Kit had told him about what had happened when she was fifteen. And as Ben finally spoke...asking for clarification, Alvin nodded.

Try as Ben might...Alvin still picked up on the slight inflections in his brother's voice as he spoke and Alvin finally lifted his head to look to his "twin". Something was off with Ben too...

What's wrong with it? Other than it being her and not, y'know...

Alvin blinked back a few tears. He hadn't been shy about the fact that he had been holding onto his virginity. And now? Now it was gone and...

"I don't even remember doing it, Ben," he gasped. "I trust Kit when she says we did and that this baby is mine...she's never lied to me. She isn't like that. And that means that I had sex...and I don't remember it. My first time and I don't remember any of it."

Tears threatened his eyes and he looked away, afraid he might start crying.

But what Ben said next made him freeze. Tommy...Alvin was not a violent or aggressive person but gods, if he ever saw that piece of shit in person again...But that wasn't a story for Alvin to tell Ben so he just wiped at his eyes, steadying himself before looking to his brother.

"Something else is on your mind...I know you," he said quietly, scooting closer to his "twin". "Talk to me...please..."

[Ben Park]

Ben loved these moments he got to have with just Alvin. With so many of them, it was hard. But Ben almost always found himself dialing Alvin first. He was his twin hyung. And the only time he hadn't? Yeah, that was when he panicked and Evan caught him and left work for the rest of the day. Evan was there, and Al was at work, probably at Hogwarts even, so there was a chance he wouldn't have even gotten the text.

But right now, he was happy being a solid rock for his brother. Not remembering that you lost your virginity must have been one thing…but then to find out just one time resulted in a child? Ben could almost hear the tears falling from his brother's eyes, and he attempted to make him feel better. ”It might take some time, but if it were me I'd relish every moment. Kit isn't the type to keep them from you and it…you never know, but it might be the only chance you have.”

Ben was looking out into the darkness now, and he could feel Alvin’s gaze on him. He thought he'd been good about not making a scene, but he should have known if anyone was going to pick up on it, Al would. He scooted closer to Ben as he spoke, and Ben sighed. ”We got another negative today. Roni’s trying to keep a straight face with all the babies around, but it's hard…” Ben shook his head, attempting to keep himself from crying, too. ”She wanted some good news to tell eomma today…”

[Alvin Park]

Something in the way that Ben was telling Alvin that this could be his only chance caused his stomach to turn in knots. What did that mean? His dark eyes searched the side of his brother's face, concern in every facet of his features. And as he asked Ben what was going on, scooching in a bit closer, he listened to Ben talk.

Another negative...

Alvin felt his brow furrow and his mouth run dry. Ben and Roni were trying for a baby...and it...just wasn't happening. But here was Erin, Evan, and now Alvin...all of which hadn't even meant to get their partners pregnant. That had to be such a punch in the gut and as Alvin looked over his shoulder and through the window, watching the way Roni effortlessly kept that smile on her face as she interacted with their mother...

He felt the tears pulling at his eyes again. Surely, Ben and Roni would go home...Ben would tell Roni about Kit being pregnant...and then Al would be the cause of another night of tears for the couple. He felt even more awful now.

She wanted some good news to tell eomma today...

Alvin paused for only a moment before silently wrapping his arms around his brother. He sat there, arms around his brother and hoping that Ben embraced him back. He needed his brother and it seemed his brother needed him too. There was no way they were going to get through these things without each other. Silence passed through the night as the boys sat there with each other.

What was there to say?

[Ben Park]

Ben was trying not to let his brothers’ oopsies get to him. It was just so easy for them…Erin and Alvin both for the first time with their partners (Alvin on his very first time) and Evan. Evan was probably bound to happen and while he and Roni weren’t exactly as active as Evan and Lexa, you’d think…he didn’t know. LIke he told Roni every time they had a negative, it just wasn’t their time yet…But Ben’s mind definitely wasn’t at the place that Alvin’s was, that he was the next in line…

Ben hadn’t been looking at Al when he reached over and put his arms around him. He felt suddenly warmer - not emotionally, but physically. Slowly, Ben moved to put his arms around Alvin, too. They were both in a spot; both of them would likely go home wrapped in their own thoughts. Alvin to spend the next day with their parents and the younger brothers, and each of the older ones likely with their own little families. Little families.

Ben wasn’t jealous. He really was happy for all three of his hyungs. He just couldn’t help but wonder why not him? What did (or didn’t) he do that he couldn’t be a part of the baby train? As he sat there with Alvin, he wondered if Roni would be up for coming into the office and getting checked out - they’d been trying to do things naturally but maybe that just wasn’t in their cards. ”I hope you were honest with Kit,” he said, suddenly, resting his head on Al’s shoulder. ”You always need to be the strong one…but sometimes people need to know how you’re feeling, too.”

[Alvin Park]

For a while, the two just sat there. Alvin always felt at ease with his brothers...but that ease was even more when it was Ben he was with. Alvin's earliest memories were of begging his parents for his own twin. And when they brought Ben home...a toddler Alvin had thought that was his twin. They had lived their earliest years believing they were twins. And when Alvin had to leave for school four whole years before Ben? It had been hard.

But here they were...holding each other through their moments of weakness.

I hope you were honest with Kit.

Al bit down hard on his lip...not letting his brother go. Ben kept talking and Alvin felt tears in his eyes. No, he hadn't been entirely honest with her. Alvin had been strong and solid for her...assuring her it was all going to be okay. But...

He shuddered slightly as he cried.

"I'm so scared, Ben," he whispered softly. "W-what if I don't bond with this child? What if because I have no memory of his or her conception...I just...check out. I don't want to be a bad dad..."

[Ben Park]

Ben liked to be a source of comfort for his brothers. Typically he didn't get that chance - usually they would go to Erin or even Evan. Even the younger ones did…he didn't blame them. Erin had always been like a second dad to them, managing a lot of the school business for their parents.

Al was crying and Ben ran his hand over his brother's upper back. His heart sank as his brother spoke, concerned about not bonding with his child and fears of being a bad father. Ben considered that for his own future child, but…that wasn't his first concern right now. But as far as Alvin’s concerns went…he felt like they were so valid. He pulled Al a little closer before he sighed, a span of silence between them. ”You're a good guy, hyung. You’ll be able to do the right thing when you're faced with the situation…” he shook his head. ”Besides, the amount of times I've witnessed the connection…at either the scan or at birth? Even…even if you don't feel that connection with Kit, I think you'll be able to feel something for the newest little Park. Your little Park.”