better to have loved and lost

[Anita Lancaster]

It was Saturday morning and Anita was situated in her office, music playing in the background as she brought her brush to canvas. The witch hummed along to the song, smiling to herself as thoughts of the one she… the one she loved filled her mind. It was hard to deny that she was falling for him, especially now that they were free to have a relationship in public. Anita lived for every moment spent with Montgomery, every last one of them. Being with him filled her with life and she felt decades younger, like a silly schoolgirl. Her smile only widened at the thought of it, her brush gently stroking the face of the canvas as she painted out the feelings in her heart. The song had not even ended by the time she heard a soft knock at her door. With a sigh, she placed her brush on the easel, waving her wand toward the record player before calling out, “Come in!” Who could be interrupting her so early on a Saturday?

A flash of brown hair and periwinkle robes quickly slipped into the room, turning before Anita could see their face, and closing the door behind them. The student paused there a moment, Ani feeling a brow raise on her face. But before she could say anything, the student turned around to reveal her face. “Layla?” Her initial reaction was to scold her for not using her office hours, but the words died on her lips as something in her sister’s eye gave her pause. Even from across the room, she could see the glassy sheen of them and, instead of berating her, she held her arms open wide. Layla rushed forward into them, wrapping her small arms around Anita’s waist as she held on tight. Ani returned the hug, pulling her sister in close as she could feel the girl’s body racking with sobs. She rested her cheek on top of her head, a hand coming to stroke her hair. “C'est bon, je suis là,” Anita murmured, pressing a soft kiss to her hair. For several moments they stood like that, Lulu sobbing in her arms as Anita did everything she could to calm her. Like it always was whenever Layla cried, she managed to calm herself rather quickly, the sobs residing until all that remained were a few sniffles. Anita held onto her until she felt her sister start to pull away. Her hands came to the girl’s shoulders, Ani doing her best to catch her gaze. When she wouldn’t meet hers, she ushered her over to the armchairs resting in front of her desk. Layla sat down in one of them, her hands wringing together obsessively in her lap and Anita lowered herself to the ground, resting on her knees so she could look the other in the eye.

Ani placed a comforting hand on Ayla’s. “What happened?” The raven sniffled in response, freeing one of her hands to wipe at her face.

“There’s a boy.” Anita’s brows furrowed together in concern. Yes, she knew what it was like to pine for someone.

“You like him?” she asked, watching as Lulu nodded. “And he-?” She shook her head, her teeth grazing her bottom lip. Ani tightened her grip on her sister’s hand, placing her other hand on her knee. “Does he know you like him?” Another nod. Ah, well, she was starting to see what made her so upset. It reminded her starkly of the summer when she kissed Monty, only to have her feelings seemingly unreciprocated. Her thoughts turned to the advice she received over the summer, from Opheliya in the salon. Perhaps those words would do her sister as much good as they did her.

“Listen to me, Lulu, men are complicated. For as intelligent as some of them are, they can be rather dumb when it comes to matters of the heart – stunted, if you will – but that doesn’t mean they don’t like us. Perhaps he doesn’t know how he feels, or he just doesn’t know what to do with this information, but I can promise you that does not mean you are any less of a gift.”

Layla shook her head again. “He made it clear we were just friends.” That must have stung, she thought, the hand on her sister’s knee gently stroking it.

“That doesn’t mean that’s what you’ll be forever,” she offered tenderly. “You know what Mum always says; it’s better to be friends first. Men’s hearts work slower than ours do. He obviously cares about you if he still considers you a friend after finding out about your feelings. If he had no interest at all, he wouldn’t stick around afterward.” She knew this because of Ian. “You care about him, yes? Would it be so bad to wait for him to come around? And if he doesn’t, then that just means he wasn’t meant for you. And that’s okay, Lulu. Love is hard and sometimes it hurts, but as Grandmother would say, ‘il vaut mieux avoir aimé et perdu que de ne jamais avoir aimé du tout’.” Anita reached out, her hand coming to Layla’s cheek, her thumb sweeping momentarily as she waited for her sister to look her in the eye. “You are a gift and any man would be lucky to win your affection. Don’t let this one boy stop you from seeing that.” Layla’s forest green eyes, brightened by the redness that rimmed them, seemed to soften at her words, her hand coming to rest on Anita’s. A kind smile touched her lips and she nodded almost imperceptibly. Ani returned her smile easily, squeezing her hand before she rose to her feet. “Good. Now come, let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll help you get ready for the talent show.”