Here’s To The Heartache.

[Alvin Park]

Alice getting married first was both a shock…and yet no surprise at all. In school, Alvin wouldn’t have bet on her ever getting married. But from the moment she had met Cody Kim…it was so clear that the two were practically made for each other.

And Alvin was overjoyed for his friend. She deserved so much happiness. She had been such a rock for both himself and Kit as they had all grown up. He was glad they could support her today.

The small ceremony had been beautiful. And the party at the bar had been exactly what Al expected from the couple. It was fun. It was vibrant. It was lowkey. It was so Cody and Alice.

But what Alvin hadn’t enjoyed…was watching the way Kit and Cody’s friend, Jimmy, seemed to be effortlessly hitting it off. And…he couldn’t figure out why he gave a damn this much. Kit was a wonderful woman deserving of all the love in the world! So why did he hate seeing her pursue someone? It was such a strange feeling.

So he found himself drowning his concerns in alcohol. A drink here turned into three more there…and after a long night of partying…Alvin was drunk. Very drunk. And Kit, like the angel of a best friend that she was, was getting him home.

And once they were in his bedroom…a different haze fell over Alvin and with a smirk on his lips, he closed the gap between them, his hands pulling her in by the hips. He whispered in her ear, telling her how beautiful she had looked…and how he didn’t want her to be with Jimmy…and how she should just spend the night with him.

And somewhere in the haze, she had agreed. And the night had waged on between them. Alvin wouldn’t remember a moment of it. He had reached “blackout drunk” hours ago. But in the moment, despite being a virgin…he’d give Kit all he had.

And the morning would come.

Al opened a sleepy eye and groaned through his hangover. Propping up on his elbows, the blanket fell off of his bare chest…and that’s when he noticed the sleeping form next to him.

Kit…

He looked around. Her dress was across the room…his clothes were scattered…they were in bed together, half naked, and Alvin had no idea what he had done the previous night. His voice was shaky as he spoke, a hand reaching out to gently wake his best friend up.

”K-Kit..?” he muttered. Once she was awake, he looked at her with concern. Gods, what had he done? Had he pressured her into anything?

”Did…did we…?”

She assured him they hadn’t. But…Alvin wasn’t convinced. Still…even if they had, he didn’t want her to feel like anything had changed. She was still his best friend and he loved her. So when she offered to leave, he shook his head. He begged her to stay. Clean up here. He’d borrow some of Roni’s clothes for her and they could go to meet the others for breakfast together.

He was thankful when she accepted. And he showed her to the bathroom before moving to gather clothes for her. Then he stepped outside to call…Erin. He needed Erin’s advice. The call lasted a good while. And he stepped back in, noticing Kit with his mother. Alvin shot them both a smile and told Kit he would be ready in ten minutes.

And once he was, he joined her again.

”Ready?”

And with that…they were off…

[Kit Carson]

Kit, much like Alvin, wouldn’t have expected Alice to get married. At least, not be the first of the three to get married (which was a silly thought in itself, considering both Alvin and Kit were in love with two very unattainable people). But the moment Alice got home from that mission in South Korea, and she talked about Cody? Yeah, Kit knew that she was locked. There was no going back from that. And when she brought him around for the first time, she could see the love between them both in their looks at one another, and the way they gently touched one another to let the other know they were there…it was sweet. It was love…and Kit could see it shooting between them like an electric spark. It was amazing, and everything she could have dreamed for herself.

But Kit’s love life was as dry as the Mojave Desert. It always had been. There just…was something so disappointing about being in love with someone who was in love with someone else (especially when that “someone else” didn’t even act like he existed). Alice had spent their entire friendship telling Kit to move on, that it wasn’t worth it, that yes he was a great guy and their best friend, but there was no use in waiting for him to wake up and see her in the same light that she saw him. Especially when there was a chance he would always see her as his best friend, and nothing more. Kit was perpetually friend-zoned, and instead of listening to Alice (which was way more logical honestly), she continued following her heart. And…honestly? Missed out on opportunities to be happy, like Cody and Alice were now.

Kit wasn’t trying to dwell on that, though. They’d gone to the Ministry party the previous week, and it was a mini-celebration for their engagement. She and Al had been playing a bit of a drinking game before Ava Blackthorn arrived, and then he was off, toddling after her. It didn’t make anything better to repeat what had happened at the party, but it ended in her leaving and sleeping until noon the next morning. Thankfully she didn’t have to be in the office. She did, however, ask Alice to coffee so she could get one more stupid pep talk into moving on, and Alice obliged, and gave her the pep talk she needed. So…that was that. The Ministry party was the last time she was going to pine after Alvin as he pined after someone else.

Alice and Cody’s wedding was everything she would have expected and more - she was so thrilled to be there to celebrate with them. She was of course, just the same with Alvin, just trying not to think about any feelings that were just there and never went away. She kept her focus on the newly married couple, and thankfully, when they arrived at the Vampire’s Den, there were more people to celebrate with and Kit almost immediately fell into conversation with one of Cody’s teammates, Jimmy Pu. And…damn, was he cute. And sweet. And his accent…yeah, Kit might have had a type. But she couldn’t help it…and didn’t want to think about it either as he swept her onto the dance floor a few times, and before he left for his hotel, gave her his number. She stared at her phone a few times to make sure that everything was real, and she was feeling pretty good (both emotionally and from the alcohol) by the time she’d headed back to the bar for one last drink. She wasn’t quite blackout drunk, but pretty close, and when she spotted Alvin…she knew he was in a worse state than she was.

Alvin was in no state to apparate himself home. So…Kit offered. He was her best friend, after all, and despite wanting to distance herself to keep any feelings from showing their ugly head, there was no way she would be able to leave him there at the bar. So she popped him home, adjusted her bag and was ready to pop herself back out of the room when a hand reached for her hip, words were whispered in her ear, and words she wanted to hear but didn’t want to hear right now...”I don’t want you to be with Jimmy…” and how she should just spend the night. Her drunk mind was not focusing on being logical, it was listening to her heart. And this was everything she wanted for as long as she could remember, so…she agreed. Maybe she wouldn’t need Jimmy’s number after all.

The next morning she hadn’t woken up first. But when she batted her eyes, a hand tapping her on the shoulder, she expected to be in her own bed. Perhaps with Alice waking her up because she missed breakfast with the crew. But instead, when she batted her eyes, she was in someone else’s bedroom - Alvin’s bedroom, to be specific, and everything came flashing back, as well as a ridiculously awful headache. She didn’t want to look at him…especially because he didn’t remember. Kit remembered what happened (it was great, really!) and Alvin didn’t. Thankfully in her drunken stupor she hadn’t deleted Jimmy’s number…

Kit tried to convince Al that nothing happened. If he didn’t remember, he didn’t need to know. All she wanted to do was go home and take a shower, get dressed, and head to breakfast. As far as she knew, everyone from the night before was invited, so at least it wouldn’t be a friend, intimate situation where she’d be forced to look at Al, knowing what they did and leaving him in the dark. She probably should have just told him, but in that moment, she just…didn’t want to ruin anything. Their friendship, his view on her…y’know. All the things. But he urged her to stay…she could shower and borrow some of Roni’s clothes, and they could go to breakfast together. A part of her knew that if she left, he would know something was up. So…reluctantly…she agreed. He led her to the bathroom and found her some clothes and then she was left to her own devices.

Under the hot water, a few things would become clear. She and Alvin were still just best friends. They had done some things that best friends likely wouldn’t do (especially in their situations) but that was all they were, and that was all they were going to stay. Of course she would wish that it would have turned into something more, that his interest in her from the previous night, his wish that she didn’t get together with Jimmy (who even would know what would happen with that, anyway?) was something he would remember…but of course it wasn’t. It wasn’t meant to be…and Alice was right the whole time. She both loved and hated her best friend for that…and wanted to talk to her immediately...but knew she would be heading on her honeymoon with her new husband after breakfast and she wasn’t about to interrupt their little love cocoon with her own problems. Kit was hurt, and she felt stupid.

And why did she have to say yes to Alvin when she was having such a great time with Jimmy? If Kit were any other woman, she likely would have woken up in his hotel room rather than someone who didn’t even want to be with her’s bedroom. SHe was a mess. She made questionable decisions, and she didn’t deserve anyone.

Kit went back to Al’s bedroom when she was finished, and grabbed all of her things, shoving them into her bag that she’d charmed to be larger than it looked. He wasn’t anywhere to be found, so she padded down the stairs toward the kitchen, where she found his mum working on breakfast. She offered to help, but Mae had assured her she had everything under control, and gestured for her to sit. It must have been a mother’s instinct, because she didn’t pressure her to say anything, just that she was happy to see her. Kit, of course, was happy to see Mae as well. She’d always been more of a mother to her than even her gran, who raised her, was.

Before long, Alvin was back in, letting her know he’d be ready shortly. She just nodded, and hugged her bag close to her chest. Seeing the way Mae looked between them let Kit know she was likely going to ask him about it later, but for now, she just let them both be, and Kit was thankful for that. She wanted to just go home and cry, but she owed it to Alice to be at their breakfast, and she owed it to Alvin to not act like something was wrong. She couldn’t let this affect their friendship, either. It wasn’t all on him.

“You ready?”

Kit nodded, but she wanted to shake her head no. She was being a baby…but she was sure she would be much less so if he would have remembered. Now she had to have that on her head - the fact he didn’t remember made her feel so much worse, like she’d been the one to take advantage of him, even though her level of drunkenness was comparable to his. The fact that she’d said yes to Al when she made a promise to Alice that she was going to start moving on, that she’d gotten Jimmy’s number and had absolutely backtracked the moment Alvin got her guard down.

No, she didn’t deserve anyone. No one deserved being treated the way she was treating them.