speechless // atticus

[Avery Darling]

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Atticus Spencer

just one word from you and it's over

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“He’s staring.” Avery had just looked up from her porridge to see the darkened gaze of one Noah Stevens pouring into her soul.[break]
“How longs he been starin’ for?”[break]
She threw Atticus a disgruntled look. “How am I supposed to know? It’s not like I’ve been staring at him.” Quite the opposite. Over the past several months she’s found her eyes more pleasantly engaged with a softer pair of brown eyes framed by that annoyingly long hair. She was looking at them now, watching as they flickered over to where Noah sat at the Slytherin table before landing back on her.[break]
“You want him to stop?”[break]
A manicured brow raised incredulously. “Yes, of course!” She was long past the need to make her ex-boyfriend feel jealous. All she wanted now was to live in peace with her boyfriend. That is… fake boyfriend.[break]
“Alright, saddle up then.” And before she could even open her mouth to ask what he meant, Atticus was leaning forward, pulling his cowboy hat over to cover their faces. For a moment, Ava thought that maybe he’d actually… but he didn’t. Her eyes were glued to his, watching the way they lit up with a mischievous glint before he whispered, “Tilt your head more to the side, you’re making me seem like a bad kisser.”[break]
“Oh stop it!” she hissed, but tilted her head anyway. She paused for a beat, still searching his eyes before she pulled back and smacked him on the arm, her face redder than the sun. Her eyes flicked briefly to see that Noah had averted his gaze and she couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re impossible!” She was still laughing when the family owl flew in, dropping a thick envelope on her plate, thankfully missing her porridge. [break][break]

Her brow pulled together as she recognized Camille’s handwriting. What could her adoptive mother be writing to her about? They weren’t close and didn’t talk all that often, save for a few interactions at home. Avery reached out to grasp the letter, slowly opening it and unfolding it. She could feel Atticus’ curious gaze on her, but she ignored him as she started to read. The more she read, the more her stomach started to sink. Her hands, tightly grasping the letter, started to shake and tears blurred her vision. She could hear Atticus say something, but couldn’t focus on the words, her mind still reeling from this news. After a few moments, her gaze snapped up to the Slytherin table where she could see him reading his own letter… No… this wasn’t real. He looked up, met her gaze, and in that moment she knew… [break][break]

Without a word to CJ or Atticus, Ava flew out of her seat and started to rush out of the Great Hall. Her feet carried her swiftly through the corridor, straight out onto the castle grounds. This can’t be - this can’t be happening! She knew Mickey was arranging marriages for the family, but never in a million years did she think she’d be included in that! Her stomach was turning violently and she felt like she was going to be sick. The tears escaped their bounds, burning against her cheeks as the cold air hit them. She could hear someone chasing after her, calling out her name, but she didn’t stop until she reached the oak tree far out on the green. Her hand, still clenching the letter, came to her chest as she tried hard to breathe. Soon, hands were on her shoulders and through the pounding in her ears she could hear Atticus saying something. There was no hiding this. Avery turned around sharply, burying her face in his chest. “M-Mickey… he… I’m…” she couldn’t get the words out. What was she supposed to say? “I’m engaged!” she cried out, pulling back to hand him the letter. “They arranged it this week!” She brushed away her tears, her chest heaving as she tried to pull herself together. “I saw Bradley, he got a letter, too.” Ava looked up into Atticus’ eyes, pleading with him to have the answers. Even though she knew he didn’t have them. There was nothing she could do.

ulla

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[Atticus Spencer]

Atticus really did enjoy these little moments he got with Ava. He had gotten past the point of a small crush. At this point he’d go as far to say that he damn near loved her, which made moments like these, where they were up close and personal all the sweeter, especially when he got to tease her. Chuckling at her words he put his hat back on, his had that as of recently held a photo of Ava in it, along side the one of him and his brother. Settling it on his head he wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her just a bit closer to him. Just in time to watch an owl come through and deposit a letter in front of her. He realized soon enough that it couldn’t have been good news, her face falling he watched as she made eye contact with… Noah Bradley? Both of them looked absolutely crestfallen. What the hell had been in that letter?

And then Ava was up and running out of the hall. “Oh Jesus wept.” He grumbled as he stood up to follow her, taking off through the hall calling her name after her as he ran. Atticus didn’t know if she was running from him or whatever was in the letter but either way he didn’t stop until they were both at the oak tree. He listened to her speak before he said anything, wanting to give her space to explain what had just happened. 

Which may have been the wrong choice as he felt his heart fall. Swallowing past the lump in his throat he sat down in front of her as she looked to him, almost pleading for an answer that he knew full well he didn’t have. So he decided to do what he did best. He scooted closer to her and wiped the tears from her cheeks, wrapping his arms around her so that he could pull her close to his chest, resting his chin on top of her head, his fingers running over her shoulders. “Shh…” he whispered, not having words to soothe her right now. He didn’t know what to say. How could he?

All this… all the pining, all the little moment between them… Atticus sighed and squeezed her tighter in his arms. Not knowing quite what else to do he pressed his nose into her hair and took a deep breath, trying to soothe the heart broken feeling he himself had right now. He really hoped this wasn’t about to be the last time he got to hold her like this. 

[Avery Darling]

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Atticus Spencer

just one word from you and it's over

[attr="class","itsover"]

She didn’t know when she fell to her knees, but she did know the familiar feeling of his arms wrapping around her. Part of her wanted to lean into the touch, let his hands soothe her as they rubbed her back, but… was this really his reaction? He had nothing to say? She was engaged! To Noah Bradley! There was no way they could be together anymore! But they were never actually together, the small voice in the back of her head reminded her. Does this mean that none of this was real? She thought - or maybe hoped - that at least some of it was real… It certainly was to her. Somewhere in all the hand holds, the teasing, the fake dates, she realized that she was starting to fall for him. She had started to look forward to his hand on her waist, to his insufferable teasing, to his laugh, his smile, his stupid cowboy hat – all of it. Was this really how he was going to let it end?[break][break]

Avery pushed back with every bit of strength she had, a wild look in her eye as she glared up at him. “Really? This is it?!” her pain had twisted into anger at him for not showing even the tiniest bit of emotion toward this. “We can’t be together! It’s over now! All because Mickey decided that I needed to be married off before I’m even out of school!” If her parents were still alive, this would have never happened. But the harsh reality was that they were gone and she was stuck as a Darling. And in this world the Darlings got married off. “How can you just have nothing to say? After everything we’ve been through?” Tears had formed once more in her eyes, but whether it was from sadness or fury she didn’t know. Did he really not feel anything toward her? Was it really just an act all this time? “This wasn’t fake to me! You have to know that!”

ulla

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[Atticus Spencer]

Atticus allowed himself to be pushed back, a frown on his lips as he looked down at Ava. It was funny, even when she was mad he was working on memorizing her face, just in case. He let her yell, wanting nothing more than to reach out for her again, so he did, putting a hand on her hip, hoping that the touch might sooth her just a little, but knowing Ava she was probably about to smack the shit out of him for it. The thought, ironically, filled him with affection. 

“This wasn’t fake to me! You have to know that!” 

Well. He did now. He had an idea and he knew it hadn’t felt fake in months, but he’d been unwilling to cross the lines in the sand Ava had drawn when they’d began this. No matter how much he wanted to kiss her when she smiled at him, or when she playfully smacked him away for teasing her. Shit. He hadn’t thought it was possible for his heart to break for wasted time. How long could they have just… actually been together at this point? “It wasn’t fake to me either.” He said finally, a hand coming up to cup the side of her face and wipe the tears from her cheeks as he shook his head. “Honey I can’t be mad about damn near anything when you’re cryin’ like this, it’s breakin’ my heart.” He said quietly, bringing his other hand up to wipe off her other cheek. A lot of things were breaking his heart right now. 

Atticus felt a tear roll down his cheek before he actually processed the fact that yeah… he was crying. He’d done a lot of crying over the past few years but rarely did he not notice his eyes welling anymore. Clearing his throat he swallowed hard and wiped the tear away with the back of his hand, looking up a bit towards the sky to will them away. Once he felt he’d successfully stopped his own tears he looked back at Ava again. “I just don’t know what I can do to fix it.” Atticus explained, having to clear his throat again. “But I’m not lettin’ you just go, Ava, I can’t.”  He meant it too. He couldn’t let go of her.

[Avery Darling]

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Atticus Spencer

just one word from you and it's over

[attr="class","itsover"]

Everything in her was screaming. Screaming about how much she hated this, how unfair it was, how she didn’t want any part of it. Ava couldn’t help the tears running down her cheeks even though she hated that she was crying in front of him. His hand came to her hip and she just bit her lip, hard, before swatting him away. She didn’t want his comfort right now she wanted action! Something to show her this wasn’t all a game to him! She could feel herself losing control as her lip quivered, the tears coming faster now. Just show her something dammit![break][break]

“It wasn’t fake to me either.”[break][break]

And there it was. Avery stifled a sob, finally letting him reach out to her and brush away her tears. All this time… they could have had more. Her eyes closed tightly as she started to shake her head. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be her life! Atticus was speaking again and she opened her eyes to meet his gaze. She didn’t want to break his heart, but her own was breaking over here. She watched as a single tear rolled down his cheek, felt his hand go from her cheek to wipe it away, and she just sniffled as he stared at the skies above. [break][break]

“I just don’t know what I can do to fix it.”[break][break]

There was nothing they could do. She was stuck. Forced to live her life in a loveless marriage.[break][break]

“But I’m not lettin’ you go, Ava, I can’t.”[break][break]

What were they going to do? Sneak around? That couldn’t last forever. Eventually she’d graduate and her fate would be sealed with empty vows and an unwanted kiss. Ava held back the tears that were threatening to pour over again and she fell into his arms, burying her face in his chest as she clung to him. “I don’t want to lose you,” she murmured to him. “What do we do?”

ulla

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[Atticus Spencer]

“Honey, I ain’t got a single clue what we’re gonna do.” Atticus murmured, wrapping his arms tight around her as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, running a hand along her upper back as he took a deep breath. This really was a shitty situation and he couldn’t think of anything that would make it any better. He sighed and rested his chin on top of her head, putting a hand on the back of her neck to try and… well. He didn’t know. Bring her any comfort? How could he comfort her right now when her whole life had turned upside down? 

“What do you want to do, sweetheart? I think I’m followin’ your lead on this one.” He normally was following her. Shit he was pretty sure he’d follow her to hell and back if it meant he got to spend time with her. Maybe that’s what this was about to be. He pulled back from their hug a bit taking her shoulders in his hands as he looked her over, one of his hands cupping the side of her face as he frowned. “Whatever happens though… no matter what, I’m right here. I’m not lettin’ you go. I won’t do it. Might be impractical but ain’t nothin’ about what we’ve done or had this year been practical has it? I got you. I’m keepin’ you right here. With me. Alright?” He paused before speaking again. “‘Sides. I think he’s got his own lady he’s eyein’. I doubt he’s too happy ‘bout the letter he got either.” 

he was also pretty sure Ophelia was going to be heart broken, as tender hearted as she seemed to be. Sweet girl, weird, but sweet. 

[Avery Darling]

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Atticus Spencer

just one word from you and it's over

[attr="class","itsover"]

The feeling of his arms encompassing her brought her some comfort, however small, and she breathed a soft sigh, her own arms wrapping around his torso pulling him closer to her. Ava closed her eyes tightly, trying her best to shut out thoughts of her betrothal and focus on his scent. It enveloped her, musky and sweet, like the way a forest smells after it rains. Warmth spread through her body as she wiggled into his chest, silent tears still trickling down her cheeks. When his deep voice reached her, she opened her eyes, blinking slowly as she listened to his words. What did she want to do? She wanted him, no matter the cost. Before she could say so, Atticus leaned out of their embrace, his hands drifting to her shoulders so he could look her in the eye. Avery sniffled, her hands sliding to his sides.[break][break]

“Whatever happens though… no matter what, I’m right here. I’m not letting you go.”[break][break]

More tears filled her eyes, quickly falling as they overflowed. Her heart swelled in her chest. How did she get so lucky? All the hurt, all the trauma, everything she’s been through felt manageable with him by her side. Her hand came up to her face, resting softly on top of his. [break][break]

“Sides. I think he’s got his own lady he’s eyein’.”[break][break]

Ava didn’t think of that. Her manicured brows pulled together slightly as she pondered it. She thought of Bradley’s face when their eyes met, the sadness she was just now realizing was in his eyes. A pang ran through her. So he was feeling what she was at this moment? Ava didn’t know Noah very well, she didn’t know the company he kept aside from his Quidditch team mates. The redhead made a mental note to go talk to him later on. There were other things she needed to figure out first.[break][break]

Green eyes focused back on Atticus. Ava drank him in, his deep dark eyes that looked at her with such affection, the way his brows pulled together with concern, the small frown tugging at his lips. Her gaze lingered there for a few moments while her mind raced. She relived every moment since they made their agreement, every thrill, every electric touch, and she knew what she wanted to do. Her eyes flicked back up to his before they fluttered shut and she leaned forward, pressing her lips against his. The kiss started soft and innocent, but Ava wanted more. She shifted her weight, moving closer to him as her hands traveled up his arms and over his shoulders. The world melted away until it was just the two of them together. Her lips moved against his for a few moments before she pulled away, gazing up at his eyes. “I want this,” she breathed. “I don’t care about Mickey’s plans for me. I want you and me, for real this time.” She’ll keep the arranged marriage secret as long as she could, she had time. They had time. A slow smile spread across her lips. “You’re just going to have to deal with me for a while longer.”

ulla

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[Atticus Spencer]

Atticus had thought, for a long while about what it would be like to actually kiss Ava, but his imagination was nothing compared to how nice it actually felt. He was a bit frozen at first, his surprise finally waning enough that he could wrap his arms around her waist when her own lifted to his shoulders, his thumbs tracing circles along her hips. Maybe he did love her. He wasn’t 100% sure what love was supposed to feel like, but he could imagine a life with her. The two of them, as much as she might hate horses and what not that wasn’t a deal breaker. He’d care for whatever animals they had. He brought a hand up to cup the side of her face when she pulled back, a grin on his lips. 

“you’re just going to have to deal with me a bit longer.” 

Shit. Like that was any sort of an actual threat. He’d spend the rest of his life putting up with anything she threw at him. He leaned in to press their foreheads together, taking a deep breath as he thumbed over her cheek. “I don’t know what else more I gotta say to make you understand that nothing less than you telling me you never wanted to see me ever again would make me leave.” He admitted quietly, tightening his grip around her waist as he tugged her just a little closer. “And even then, I still don’ think you’d be gettin’ rid of me that easy. Lord knows I’d spend months figurin’ out how’t talk you out of it.” 

Atticus really just couldn’t help how much he’d grown to adore her. So fully, and at this point she knew more about him that just about anyone else in the school, aside from maybe CJ. Even then they’d become sort of a trio, hard to find one of them without the other two. “This mean I finally get to start kissin’ you for real?” He’d still keep the hat up to cover their faces when they weren’t alone, he didn’t need her getting actually embarrassed. 

[Avery Darling]

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Atticus Spencer

just one word from you and it's over

[attr="class","itsover"]

No matter what she threw at him, no matter how volatile she could be, it seemed Atticus just adored her more for it. Ava let out a happy sigh, leaning her head forward to press her forehead against his, her lips widening into a bright smile. Just ten short minutes ago her life was coming to an end, everything was falling apart and she didn’t know how she was going to cope. All that disappeared with his assurance he was by her side. Avery promised herself she’d find a way out of this engagement. She had no idea how she was going to accomplish this, but she’d run away with Atticus before she walked down the aisle with another man. She could live a thousand lifetimes and still not deserve Atticus. Ava sat up just enough to look him in the eye. “Well, you know I’d hex you if you didn’t try,” she teased him.[break][break]

“This mean I finally get to start kissin’ you for real?”[break][break]

Her smile widened even more before she leaned in to kiss him again. His lips were so soft against hers and her belly filled with butterflies. “Whenever you want,” she said as she pulled back. For months she had been wanting this to be real, she wanted to finally kiss him, and now that it was and now that she had she didn’t want this feeling to go away. “I do have a question, though,” she said seriously, biting her lip. “Should we tell CJ? I mean, about everything?”

ulla

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